I knew from a very young age that I had a heart murmur. I felt special when my pediatrician spent a long time listening to my heart and marveling at my extra heartbeat. When I was older, my doctor would bring in other doctors to listen to the “textbook” case of mitral valve prolapse.
Beginning around age 35, I started to get annual echocardiograms to monitor any changes in my heart murmur. Each year I would meet with the cardiologist, who told me that I had moderate to severe blood leakage, but my numbers looked good and I had no symptoms, so off I would go. It was when I hit 50 that my cardiologist first mentioned the possibility of needing heart surgery to correct the blood leakage. It didn’t really register with me as I had gone my whole life with this condition, without any symptoms, so I in the back of my mind I didn’t really believe him.
Then, all that changed. When I was 54, at my annual cardiology appointment, my cardiologist told me that I had crossed over into severe leakage and my left atrium was slightly enlarged. I needed surgery to correct my mitral valve. What? What do you mean I need surgery? I can’t have surgery, it’s going to interfere with my tennis game! I have things to do! Heart surgery?! Me? I’ve never had a surgery in my life and now I’m having heart surgery? Are you sure I need to have this done?
Once I got through the initial shock, my mind started reeling with all kinds of questions, and in such random fashion, I was making my own head spin. Mitral valve surgery…….what exactly are they going to do during this surgery? Who is the best surgeon to perform this operation? How many have they done before? How long will I be in the hospital? I could die! Then what?? If I’m not here, who’s going to feed the dog? Yes, I had both rational and irrational thoughts along the way.
You know, I consider myself to be strong and independent – I like a challenge and I like to do well at whatever I do. I pride myself on figuring things out on my own. But let me just say, when you’re having heart surgery………it’s not the time to do it all on your own. It’s not the time to say “I’ve got this, I don’t need any help.” This is the time to lean on your support network, whether it’s your spouse, family members or friends. It’s the time to communicate how you’re feeling – your thoughts, fears and concerns. In my experience, I learned that talking to and relying on other people was OK and in fact, really helpful in relieving some of my stress and anxiety! I learned that it’s OK to ask for help and accept help. Your friends and family want to support you and you need to let them! It will make such a difference throughout your cardiac surgery journey!